Always a Sh*t Show 
Welcome to Allen’s Septic & Portables LLC – Where We Take Our Business (But Not Ourselves) Seriously
Hello, Fellow Stool Supporters!
We’re Chad and Sharene Allen, the proud new owners of Allen’s Septic & Portables LLC. When the opportunity came knocking, we couldn’t resist diving headfirst into the world of septic systems, making it our mission to serve our community with a healthy dose of laughter and exceptional service.
Formerly known as Terry’s Septic & Portables and later as American Portables & Septic (though some of our equipment may still bear those names), we’ve undergone a rebranding to Allen’s Septic & Portables, injecting new life into our business while preserving the exceptional service our customers have come to rely on. Consider it our quirky identity crisis that’s all sorted now. Our goal? To revolutionize the septic industry, one poop joke at a time. So buckle up and get ready for an unforgettable journey with us!
Turning Crappy Situations into Smiles –
Our Unique Approach
We’ve adopted the poop emoji as our official mascot, using it to replace certain words to keep things family-friendly. It’s a lighthearted way to bring a smile to your face and remind you that even when things go down the drain, there’s always a chance for laughter. So, prepare yourself for puns, toilet humor, and a whole lot of laughter along the way!
A Business with a Solid #2 Ranking
While we may love a good laugh, we take the business of septic systems seriously. Rest assured, when you choose Allen’s Septic & Portables LLC, you’re getting more than just a good chuckle. Our team of experts is dedicated to providing top-quality septic services, from pumping and maintenance to repairs and installations. We combine professionalism with our unique brand of humor to deliver an unforgettable customer experience.
Since we’ve been doing this crap since 2014, we’ve seen it all when it comes to septic systems. No matter the challenge, we’ll tackle it head-on with our expertise and a smile. We’re committed to going above and beyond to ensure your satisfaction, because your trust means the world to us. When you choose us, you’re choosing a septic company that cares about both your system and your sense of humor.
Join the “Movement” – see what our customers have to say!
— Lily C.
— John D.
— Mia H.
— Henry R.
Let’s Talk 
– Contact Us Today
We know you’re itching to dive into the turderrific world of Allen’s Septic & Portables LLC. Reach out to us today for all your septic needs, a good laugh, or to simply say hi. We’re here to help and brighten your day, one flush at a time.
Always a sh*t show
Got a poop emergency? Skip the stinky delays, give us a ring at (712) 433-1662 and let's flush those worries away!
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521 10th St
Onawa, Iowa 51040
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